Somtimes Glances are Thrown
by hrewannabe
Summary: sometimes people don't see what's in front of them, they only think to wish for it and never ask; sometimes it's hard to put your feelings out there and sometimes...you're just to scared. (little bit of slash, because I can't help myself)
1. Sometimes John Casey thinks on Chuck

Some days when John is in the Buymore he thinks about Chuck Bartowski.

I don't own anything

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Watching Chuck move across the floor of the store makes John Casey wonder what it would feel like to have that scrawny body pressed up against his. John wonders what it would be like to hear Chuck gasp out his name, Casey shakes his head and turns away from the view of Chuck berating Jeff and Lester. Casey knows he can't think of Chuck like that, can't think of Chuck's bright eyes or the way he'll look at John when they're in a tight spot on a mission. John can't think of Chuck the way he wants to because he knows that one day the general might give him the order, and put out a kill on Chuck and Casey can't get involved with an asset. Casey is professional, every inch of his body lives for the United States, besides Chuck doesn't love him. Casey sees the way Chuck looks at Sarah and on John's lowest days he wishes to be Sarah or a women because then at least he would have a chance.

When on missions Casey doesn't dare look at Chuck because of Walker, he knows that if Sarah even saw him look at Chuck now then she would know how much he wished he was in her shoes. So when Sarah isn't near him Casey gazes at Chuck, longing for even a glance from the awkward man. It's gotten so bad that any attention from Chuck is good attention, butting shoulder in the store, harsh words on missions, and even pushing him up against objects when Chuck gets to testy. Casey reckons that if he can get small touches that he'll be good, fine even. Still John knows it's much more and that soon even small touches won't satisfy him.

Still Casey can't help but watch Chuck when he's in the Buymore. The way the white button up clings to the younger man's thin frame, gives John the shivers and John just wants to kind of cling to Chuck. John wants to embrace Chuck, shelter him and be sheltered in turn, something that he never had with his wife. Because while Casey had loved his ex. Wife he never felt _good _or _safe _when he was with her and John wonders if that's because somewhere out in the world there was Chuck Bartowski waiting for him.

When John watches Chuck his eyes stray to his long thin fingers. John has watched those fingers fix computers, twine in Sarah's hair, and dismantle bombs, and he is still amazed by them and sometimes John wants those fingers on him. Wants those fingers to trace every scar and mistake, wants Chucks fingers to devour his body, discovering every weakness that Casey has. Casey wants to feel Chuck's lips on his, he wonders' if they'd feel chapped or if they'd be soft. John wonders if Chuck would fight him for dominance or sweetly surrender and then John will stop himself from going any further.

Some days John Casey likes to watch Chuck Bartowski at work. John likes to think of Chuck and wants Chuck to want him, but he won't tell. John Casey is like that he'd rather be lonely than love and hurt the one he loves.


	2. Sometimes Chuck thinks on Casey

Even when Chuck is on Missions he likes to Watch Casey and Think

I totally do not own Chuck, as a matter of fact I own next to nothing what I do "own" is a dog and that's like it.

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Chuck pretends to be in love with Sarah for Ellie and his friends (even though they all know he leans more towards the male figure) and Bartowski pretends he loves Sarah in front of Sarah, John, and the general. When Chuck first brought Sarah home Ellie and Devon had pulled him aside and asked why his partner was a she and not a he, Chuck smiled and shrugged his shoulders and told them he liked her. Ellie looked at him and Chuck remembers trying so very hard to focus on Sarah and not on Casey when around his family those first few weeks because if Ellie even saw him look in Casey's direction she would know how much Chuck wanted those strong thick fingers entwined with his.

When Chuck is in the Buymore he watches Casey more. Chuck will watch the way he strides across the floor and think to himself that John's walk is military, that it tells everyone to not mess with him. Chuck notices the way John's pants curve around the muscles in ways that it simply doesn't do for other employs of the Buymore. Chuck likes the way John gets into selling the grills to customers; on bad days Chuck likes to pretend he's working near Casey when he's selling things it calms him down.

When Chuck is on missions and has Casey's voice in his ear he feels strong and more capable. It doesn't matter when Casey is nearby that he doesn't have official training or that he got kicked out of college for something he didn't even do. Casey believes in Chuck, well somewhat believes in Chuck and that's all that matters. Chuck knows that Sarah is pulling him around by the strings of his heart, well Sarah thinks she has him wrapped around her pinky finger and only Chuck knows that's not true. Chuck knows that it's not Sarah he wants next to him when he wakes up in the morning but John. John with his deep blue eyes and strong figure.

John Casey is nothing like Bryce Larkin. Bryce was honeyed words and a promise of something more that never happened. Casey is almost the flat out truth with the promise of nothing and yet Chuck feels like he can trust Casey more than he ever did with Bryce. Bryce was dark hair and a slim figure muttering under his breath as he worked in the glow of a desk lamp, a college student, and an agent. John is warm and strong and dependable.

Chuck loves to watch John talk about his guns or his life before meeting Chuck. He becomes so animated and happy, this happiness filling Chuck's body like sunlight on a chilly Sunday morning. Chuck wants and needs Casey, his voice his arms, his presence, Chuck needs everything and yet nothing all at once from him. Some days Chuck watches John Casey on missions and some days Chuck likes to think of what would have happened if he had met John first instead of Sarah, but Chuck has come to accept at least this part of his life, Chuck will never have Casey and that's how it will always be.


	3. Bryce used to think about Chuck

sorry for the weird way this is written, but the original version apparently didn't get saved and so this is the new version, and this week college started up again, and while this isn't a real excuses getting back into the swing of things can be a tad hard.

Still I enjoy if you can :)

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Talking to Chuck in college had been Bryce's first mistake, not because he regretted meeting Chuck, but because Bryce regrets everything that happens to Chuck simply for the reason that Bryce feels responsible for everything bad that has happened to Chuck. Trying to set Chuck up with Jill(failure), getting together with Chuck(wonderful but…), breaking Chuck's heart(painful), getting him kicked out of Stanford(to protect him though), and putting Chuck in harm's way, all of that was his fault and Bryce Larkin knew it. That's what keeps Bryce Larkin awake at night when he's on missions with other agents and then eventually Sarah.

Bryce will think to himself when he's lying in bed at night after a mission with Sarah by his side that instead of Sarah by his side it could be Chuck. Bryce knows that Chuck is the "girl" who got away for him, the only person that Bryce wouldn't mind settling down with and yet Bryce is the one who chased Chuck away. That he lied to Chuck and that day when Chuck left Stanford Bryce Larkin could barely look at Chuck, the shame weighing him down. So entangled in all the spy business that he didn't even realize that he had become so possessive and wanting to keep Chuck safe that he had driven him out of his reach. The soft curls and the lopsided boyish grin as he curled up with a sci-fi book or his back hunched as he worked on remaking Zork, the sun long gone from the sky and only the light of his computer screen bathing Chuck in light.

Daydreaming about Chuck during missions was a big thing and then Bryce met Sarah and thought that maybe, just maybe he could forget about Chuck, that he could be happy. Still though even the golden shine of Sarah's hair and the soft curves of her body couldn't keep his mind off of Chuck and his lithe body strung out on a dorm mattress and then the whole mess with Chuck's father and the intersect happened and the only person that Bryce could trust with it was Chuck. Chuck whose life he had ruined trying to keep him out of a mess that Bryce was getting ready to throw him into without any warning or preparation. The only thing Bryce could hope for was that Chuck wouldn't open the file.

Surviving while not a surprise was still a bit of a shock to Bryce since the last thing he could remember was the stupidly angry NSA agent John Casey leaning over him as the world turned black due to pain and loss of blood. The first words out of Bryce's mouth is "Chuck", he knows everything he says will get reported back to any and everybody and so he asks for Chuck Bartowski, Chuck is the only one he asks for. In the room filled with white head bowed down low in defeat he doesn't bother to look up when Chuck walks into the room, doesn't believes that it's Chuck even when the man walks to the window and asks to be let out and then walks back and answers in Killingon. When Bryce realizes that Chuck has the intersect he's glad that only one person has it and then he feels regret for what he's about to do. And then Sarah and that stupid NSA agent john Casey are racing into the room guns drawn. Half of Bryce's brain is focusing on the situation and the other half is think about how nice it is to have Chuck in reach, to have Chuck's long lanky body pressed up against his even though he's holding a syringe with who knows what in it, and then Bryce is racing down the halls with Chuck in his hands Casey and Sarah on his tail all the way to the elevator.

The elevator almost has Bryce telling Chuck everything and results in him learning information though he could have done without Chuck learning all about Fulcrum. Leaving Chuck on the full of the elevator without even giving him some type of sign of affection is another heart bruising blow. Having to explain to Chuck about Fulcrum was a blow to his own pride, keeping the fact that he knew where Chuck's father was the whole entire time though was an even harder though then when he got Chuck kicked out Stanford. And then telling Chuck to ask for Sarah to meet him in the bedroom when all Bryce wants to do is draw Chuck close, flush with his body and map out the body he once knew so well, but he can't and he doesn't know what hurts more the yearning for Chuck or pulling Sarah close and kissing her wishing the whole time that Sarah was Chuck. Still Bryce thinks, no he knows that his ship with Chuck has sailed when the whole time he had the syringe to Chuck's neck he only looked at Casey, eyes only flicking to Sarah and then how when Sarah comes into Casey's house and finds him bent over Casey's computer trying to find information he notices how Chuck stays behind Sarah but doesn't press up against him the way that Bryce knows Chuck does when he feels threatened and trust the person. When Casey enters though Bryce notices how Casey doesn't focus on him, not really but on Chuck how his eyes are constantly trying to flick over to look at Chuck. When they're in the Buymore and Morgan comes up and recognizes him Bryce finally understands how much he ruined Chuck's life and feels even guiltier, but he also notices how Chuck doesn't look at him the way he used to that the secret glance the way his eyes used to shine looks only that way he gives brief glances at John Casey. The glances that the two share though, Chuck and John, makes Bryce Larkin wonder.

Still when he came back Bryce come back to seek out Sarah as everyone else believed, but for Chuck, because somewhere in his heart Bryce had never let go of those ridiculous long nimble fingers that were precise on a computer, but clumsy everywhere else. The shock on Chuck's face though when he opened the door to Sarah's apartment and sees Bryce, makes Bryce want to cry, because even though Bryce has an inkling that Chuck and Casey have a thing, the look on Chucks face when he sees him makes him wonder about it. Bryce remembers college Chuck and the few months that he had spent with Jill and then the time that they had spent together. Bryce goes back for Chuck, but it's not just for Chuck, he goes back because of his orders, because first and foremost Bryce Larkin is a spy.

Chuck doesn't belong to Bryce Larkin anymore and Bryce Larkin doesn't belong to Chuck.

It doesn't matter that Bryce never thought that it would be like this, that Chuck would find someone else, but maybe, just maybe Chuck will be happier if he realizes his feelings for John Casey, but Bryce knows that he no longer has a say in Chucks life, no matter how much he wishes that he still did and Bryce is so very tired of running, fighting, pretending and Chuck is no long Bryce's to woe and cling to, no longer his because there are no parties to go to and no more stumbling back to the house drunk on alcohol, life, and each other or wrapped tight around each other on Bryce's bed instead of sleeping separately. Chuck might not know it but Bryce knows that Chuck is John's and John is Chuck's.


End file.
